i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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