the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
did i just pee glitter
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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