Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You're breaking my sexual little heart
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
