OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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