I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my poor anus
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
