well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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