i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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