there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
