It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
