apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
