i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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