I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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