OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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