OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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