First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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