Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
