her vagine was all disorganized.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
God, I missed his penis.
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