You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
