also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
