your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
