Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
