I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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