I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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