good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm passing your future prison.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
