Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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