Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
