people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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