I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i drank out of a bidet.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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