Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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