I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
