We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You did what with his pubic hair?
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