She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize