I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
