Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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