Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
