Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I supernannyed him into submission
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize