Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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