I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
