Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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