Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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