I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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