if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize