Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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