Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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