she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize