the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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