we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
