it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize