New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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