you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
