Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i came on her dog
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
