what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
