Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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