we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
