I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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