She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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