Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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