Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
