Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
