I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
