this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
