you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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