Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
