I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
