I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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