I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let's get the cat blown out
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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